Christmas 2024

What a year! The agents of chaos ruled. The world saw awful expressions of the depths of man’s inhumanity to man and women and children.

Yet despite that the universe unfolded as it will and in the little corner of this small portion of the world things unfolded as they will.

We love and revel in the joy of travel and this year there were two major events.

First children and I went on a cruise starting in Hong Kong and ending in Singapore. Between, there was Vietnam and Thailand. As the history and culture of each new place was explored and explained I watched the wonder and excitement blossom on my children’s faces. They boasted that they had their own personal guide in their mom who were retracing and remembering former voyages to those places.

Yet for me it was not a ‘been there, done that’ but more rediscovering and wondering at how much the world, and places, and opinions, cultures and people change and grow. There was so much newness it took a lot of thought to assimilate and ponder the way things do change.

Next was the family reunion n Sweden. The best way to describe that was a time of love and togetherness as a family that has grown and flourished. There was such warmth it glowed. My time in Oland was a restorative. Lazy days, games at dusk, walks by the sea, embraced by new friends, laughter and amazing food.

I celebrated a major milestone birthday. My expressed sentiment was that I would let go of past regrets the ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ and live in the ‘what is.’ I have succeeded in some ways but I still have to let go of the busyness that sometimes is overwhelming. I have to practice saying ‘no’.

Now it’s Christmastime again and for this year I offer these words as we light the Advent candles of Hope, Peace, Love and Joy:

Every time a hand reaches out to help another…that is Christmas.

Every time someone puts conflict aside and strives for understanding…that is Christmas.

Every time people forget their differences and realize their love for each other…

That is Christmas.

Merry Christmas and a Healthy Happy New Year.

Love on the Go: Building Surprise Trips That Wow

Planning a surprise trip for your partner can be thrilling yet challenging. It requires a blend of careful planning and spontaneous adventure to create a memorable experience. This Meanderings guide explains how you can craft the perfect surprise getaway to delight your partner.

Balance Planning with Spontaneity
While meticulous planning is essential to ensure a smooth and enjoyable trip,
leaving some days unplanned can add a delightful element of surprise. This
flexibility lets you decide based on your mood and discover unexpected local treasures. You might stumble upon a charming café, a hidden beach, or a local
festival that wasn’t on your itinerary. These spontaneous moments often become the trip’s highlights, creating lasting memories that scripted plans might miss.

Invest in Comfort and Charm
Consider enhancing your travel experience with small luxuries. Upgrading your
seats for a long flight can make the journey more comfortable and less tiring.
Choosing accommodations with luxury or unique charm, such as a boutique
hotel or a quaint bed and breakfast, can elevate your stay. These small comforts
can significantly impact your overall experience, making the trip more special and thoughtful.

Create a Video for the Big Reveal
Crafting a video to unveil your surprise trip adds a deeply personal and thrilling
element to your announcement, making it unforgettable. Utilize a free video
maker to easily create videos capturing your planned journey’s essence. This
handy tool empowers you to add audio, adjust the speed, and animate elements,
enhancing the storytelling experience. Picture the delight as your partner
discovers each planned detail, their excitement growing with every scene.

Seek Out Unique Local Experiences
Exploring unique local experiences not typically found in guidebooks can add a
special touch to your trip. Whether it’s a cooking class with a local chef, a guided tour through an off-the-beaten-path neighborhood, or a workshop with local artisans, these activities provide a deeper connection to the destination. They offer an authentic glimpse into the local culture and allow you to create unique memories together.

Utilize Travel Apps and Tools
Travel apps and tools can make planning and executing your surprise trip
smoother. Apps for flight tracking, accommodation booking, and local
transportation can streamline your planning process. Additionally, apps that
provide restaurant recommendations, language translation, and currency conversion can be invaluable during your trip. Leveraging these tools helps
ensure a seamless and stress-free experience, allowing you to focus on enjoying the journey.

Balance Excitement with Relaxation
Incorporating relaxation into your trip is crucial to balance the excitement. Plan
for a spa day, a leisurely beach day, or a quiet nature retreat. These restful
moments provide an opportunity to unwind and recharge, ensuring that the trip isn’t just packed with activities but also offers time to relax and enjoy each
other’s company. This balance helps maintain a pleasant pace and prevents
burnout from too much excitement.

Opt for VIP Experiences
Look for VIP experiences, private viewings, or early access tickets to avoid
crowds and make the most of popular attractions. These options can transform
a typical sightseeing tour into an exclusive and intimate experience. Whether it’s a private museum tour, a VIP wine-tasting session, or early access to a famous landmark, these unique arrangements can make your trip feel even more extraordinary.

Add a Personalized Theme
A themed trip can add an extra layer of excitement and personalization. Whether following the trail of your partner’s favorite author, wine tasting across vineyards, diving into historical sites, or embarking on a culinary journey, a themed approach makes the trip more engaging and meaningful. This thoughtful touch shows that you’ve tried to tailor the experience to their interests and passions, making the trip unforgettable.

Planning the perfect surprise trip for your partner involves careful preparation
and spontaneous adventure. By balancing planned activities with unplanned
days, investing in comfort, seeking unique local experiences, using travel apps,
creating a memorable reveal video, incorporating relaxation, opting for VIP
experiences, and adding a personalized theme, you can craft a trip that will leave your partner feeling cherished and thrilled. This thoughtful approach guarantees the journey is as enjoyable as the destination, creating lasting memories for both of you.

This a guest post courtesy of Catherine Workman <cworkman@wellnessvoyager.com>

You may be more spontaneous and not much of planner but these tips will certainly come in handy when planning that special trip.

January is Alzheimer’s Awareness Month.

On New Year’s Eve I wrote some thoughts on the sacrifices caregivers caring for persons with dementia must make as they care for their loved ones.

No matter how much you give you are called upon to give more. Alzheimer’s is a disease that takes. As a caregiver you give.

I share my thoughts here:

MORE
We never know how much MORE we can be

The greater the challenge the MORE you find

You can be MORE

You never know the depth or height of being until

You are tested to be MORE

When you know you have reached your limit

You discover the unknown MORE

Trust your MORE

Be bold in your MORE

Speak your MORE

To help others

Find their MORE.

The Meander: Thanks to those wonderful care partners, the Personal Support Workers (PSW) who everyday wherever they work give MORE.

A Useful Gift

Thirty years ago I received a Christmas gift. It was a hardcover perpetual calendar titled: Special Days: A record Keeper for Birthdays, Anniversaries and Special Days.

For thirty years I have used it, filling it with my special people and the dates that correspond to birthdays, anniversaries and other important occasions that merit annual acknowledgement. When I got that gift I had no idea it would become such a useful and necessary tool.

An important year end tradition embodied in this gift is the annual ritual of transferring the names, dates and my own classification system as to what is being celebrated to the new desk top daily journal.

Yes, I still have an annual journal/diary on my desk. At first it was only for a quick reminder. Now it is a critical memory resource. My desk diary tells me what I am doing when and where, with whom and why. It tells me as I turn the pages which family member or friend has a special celebration.

I need no reminder for many but recording the names gives me a moment to pause and to be grateful for the people I have in my life.

As I transfer the names and particulars I also put a red ’D’ beside the names of those who have died during the year. I won’t have to put them in the new desk diary anymore. Yet each year as I continue the tradition I will have a moment to pause, to reflect and to remember the impact they had on my life.

2023 was a many ‘D’ year. My red pen almost ran out of ink as I diligently freshened past ‘Ds’ and marked the red ‘D’ beside each new death.

For a brief moment I will mourn the loss again. There was a frisson of intense sorrow as I placed the ‘D’ beside a name of one who shared my birthday and later on beside the name of the spouse. Both lost in one year.

I remember too that despite my avoidance of technology how the digital age has allowed me to attend so many funerals. It is now customary to send out the Zoom link with the announcement of the celebration of life arrangements. Like it or not, this age of technology does have its silver lining.

I have not yet crossed through, blotted out, or overwritten a name. Instead they remain with just that ‘D’ that indicates they are in a different place, but remain here in my calendar and in my heart.

This year I also noted that although so many have gone the count of names in my calendar has not decreased. In fact there are three more than last year, including the birth of another honorary grandson, to be sent birthday cards!

Three more names mean that I am connecting to more people, still making friends who qualify for my perpetual calendar in perpetuity. That’s the silver lining of my thirty year old Christmas gift!

The Meander: “Time doesn’t take away from Friendship, nor does separation” – Tennessee Williams

Happy New Year!

A Christmas To Give

Do you like to watch the news?

Has the chaos and atrocities got you feeling down?

Do you feel helpless?

Are you wondering what is happening to our world?

Such questioning only add stress to our already stressful lives. Yet, throughout this year I have yearned to replace helplessness with hopefulness. In these very dark days I wonder why. I think it is all beyond me, that I should give up on hope. But I cannot because a life without hope is a life not worth living.

Let’s make this a holiday season to give as we are able. To share what we can. To be grateful that we have enough so we can help others. It does not have to be financial. Perhaps instead you can smile as you stand in line; phone or reach out to a friend; speak kind words to a stranger. Let’s try to spread hope.

Also, gift yourself too. Replace the news feeds that seem to relish blaring out the bad and the ugly, the atrocities and man’s inhumanity to man and woman, with good news stories. It may be hard to find enough good news. Those are not ‘sexy’; they do not bring high ratings. Evil sells.

When you run out of good news in the media look around to find it where you are. There is enough if we just pause from the daily busyness and despairing thoughts and look. Once again as you celebrate this holiday season substitute Christmas with whatever you celebrate. We all need Peace, Hope and Love.

We wish you Peace which is the Spirit of Christmas

We wish you Hope, which is the Joy of Christmas

We wish you Love, which is the Heart of Christmas.

AND

We wish you a bad news blackout!

May you have good health, and find myriad moments of joy today and always!

Travel and Self-Care

I hear the ‘frost advisory’ in the weather report and look out at the beautiful Fall colours. I ponder taking a winter travel adventure right here in Canada, a winter wonderland.

My contemplation did not last long as I read about the Winter Train trip though the Rockies from Vancouver to Jasper. Oh, it’s wonderful, magnificent and having done the Rockies by train and by car in more hospitable weather – think summer -I can only imagine how awe inspiring such a trip would be.

The problem is the list of things to do. I am very happy to stay at the luxurious Chateau Lake Louise, but the dog sledding, snow shoeing, wildlife spotting and the ice walk left me, well, cold.

I then turned to look at winter vacations in warmer climes only to be sent the following post from Catherine at https://wellnessvoyager.com a fellow travel blogger. Thank you Catherine.

My winter hardy friends tell me that if you can, do take the train then go to Banff to ski. They say even I would love it. I just might, but don’t hold your breath. Here is Catherine’s Wellness suggestions:

Traveling as Self-Care: 4 Great Cities to Rejuvenate Your Mind and Body

In the hustle and bustle of our daily lives, it’s easy to lose touch with ourselves. Traveling is a great way to shake up your routine and reconnect with what matters most. Exploring new cities can encourage you to embrace new perspectives, step out of your comfort zone, and discover the serenity of self-care. Both the United States and Canada boast an abundance of wonderful cities to explore, each with its own unique charm and array of soul-filling benefits. In this article, we’ll guide you through a carefully curated selection of these vibrant destinations!

Preparing for a Relaxing Trip

First, it’s worth acknowledging the fact that travel can be stressful. Proper preparation is key to ensuring your trip actually rejuvenates your spirit rather than leaving you feeling exhausted. If you’re a self-employed professional, consider taking the necessary steps to clear your schedule and set expectations with your clients or collaborators. This will allow you to fully immerse yourself in the self-care experience and ensure peace of mind during your absence.

When it comes to planning your trip, online resources can serve as invaluable guides. For example, Meanderings is an excellent source of inspiration which can encourage you to get out there and create your own stories. Bucket List Travels shares several other websites to help you plan your big adventure.

Orlando, Florida

Orlando stands out as an ideal location for a self-care reset trip. While renowned for its theme parks, Orlando offers much more than meets the eye. Of course, a trip to the magical world of Disney can be part of your self-care journey, encouraging you to connect with your inner child and enjoy the wonder of a unique and enchanting world. Beyond Disney World, Orlando offers lush botanical gardens, serene lakes, and numerous spa resorts that cater to your relaxation needs. If you plan on visiting Disney World during your trip, consult online resources such as MouseLifeToday.com to learn how you can keep your adventure within budget.

Banff, Alberta

Vacationing in Banff, Alberta, is a soul-nourishing experience that offers self-care opportunities in every season. Whether you visit during the vibrant burst of fall when the larches turn brilliant gold, or in the heart of winter for world-class skiing in the Canadian Rockies, or even during the balmy days of summer for breathtaking hikes, Banff has something to offer every traveler seeking renewal. Not only does Banff provide several opportunities for outdoor recreation, but the town offers plenty of shopping opportunities with a stunning mountain backdrop, incredible restaurants, and a variety of luxury resorts to pamper and delight!

Tofino, British Columbia

Tofino in British Columbia is another fantastic self-care getaway if you want a break from the hustle and bustle of big-city living. The town is a coastal paradise tailor-made for those who find solace by the ocean. Nestled on Vancouver Island’s western shore, Tofino offers a serene sanctuary where the Pacific Ocean meets ancient rainforests. This small town’s charm lies in its unspoiled natural beauty, with long stretches of sandy beaches, rugged shorelines, and lush wilderness. Embrace a slower pace, enjoy fresh seafood, and explore all the artsy shops, cute boutiques, and art galleries lining the streets of downtown.

Napa Valley, California

Visiting Napa Valley in California is a self-care journey tailored for those who appreciate life’s finer pleasures and have a passion for wine and culinary delights. In Napa, you can indulge your senses with world-class wines from renowned vineyards, savor gourmet cuisine prepared by award-winning chefs, and unwind at luxurious spa retreats. Stroll through vineyards and enjoy leisurely picnics. Napa Valley is an idyllic location to embrace the art of slowing down!

In the pursuit of self-care, seek new cities and fresh experiences. Traveling can be incredibly transformative! Whether you decide to visit exciting Orlando, picturesque Banff, tranquil Tofino, or charming Napa Valley, take the time to make work preparations before embarking on your adventure so you can fully enjoy your self-care getaway.

Are you looking for travel inspiration? Read through some other articles on the Meanderings website for travel stories and adventures.

The Final First: Love Endures

How Do I Love Thee? (Sonnet 43)

Elizabeth Barrett Browning 1806 –1861

How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day’s
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood’s faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death.

For 53 years the couple would awaken and read or recite or hear a friend saying these immortal words. It was a January ritual begun on the first wedding anniversary.

On January 11, 2023, in love and remembrance only one mouthed the words in the cold morning. It was comforting.

Today, September 25^th is a day that should have no special import but from now on may be a day for mourning, or not. On waking, the first thought, the first need was to hear this poem. The accompanying memory was of a soft slow issuance of breath, an afterthought it seemed. That breath came after a long pause and seemed to linger as it floated outward and upward and returned on the gossamer wings of a butterfly to settle with a soft caress. My Bert smiled. It was the final, soundless aspiration that filled the room.

But today is a day to put aside maudling sentimentality and contemplate present reality. Today marks the first year of living a strange unfamiliar singleness.

It was a poignant year not of mourning but of doing. Too busy advocating, informing, educating, sharing, caring, remembering, living. There were a few tears outweighed by a plethora of remembered joys. Tears wiped away within the ever surrounding arms of family and friends.

Today I meander through our song, gaze at albums, twinned biographies, and I laugh at our shared moments of joy or sigh at our shared moments of grief and wonder at the miraculous journey of two lives entwined.

And today I share our love poem with friends, families, all who love and mourn and remember their loved ones who are gone but have not left.

The Meander: Love endures. There is an everlasting delicacy in loving someone after they are gone. There is blessing in memory.

August 17, 2022 No Regrets

We wheeled him across the street. One helium balloon already declaring in bright, bobbing shiny proclamation: “It’s My Birthday”.

He was well dressed. I was told that when he was asked what he wanted to wear he had only said: “Blue”. He was dressed in a lovely blue shirt, gray dress pants and dark blue slipper shoes. He was well groomed having just had a haircut five days before. He smelled nice.

Destination was the Italian restaurant a short block away. All was ready including the 14 guests that would celebrate this special day.

“How old am I?” The voice was tentative, slightly raspy, low and slow. The once talkative man was showing the ravages of Alzheimer’s and the onset of aphasia which began just two weeks before. The rock had become shifting sand.

“Today you are 90 years old”. The still bright eyes opened widely and the ghost of that most beautiful mischievous smile broke through. “That… no, you 90 too?”

There was laughter.

There was laughter as a favourite niece got him speaking German, and Dutch then it doubled in volume when he answered in Swedish.

The food was great, the conversation lively and the 90 year old man was happy to be the VIP, the celebrant, the focus of all around him.

A conglomeration of cards, balloons, flowers, odd items surrounded his plate. There were pop-ups, noise makers, puzzles, musical renditions of the birthday song all coming from the cards, gifts and trinkets. More helium balloons decked his chair, tied to show off the witty sayings displayed on them.

He did not say much. Each question was passed on to his wife with: “You tell them”. When she answered with an encouraging word or mnemonic aid to have him join in answering he would nod or say one or two words. And he smiled.

It was a very happy occasion and for three hours his usual tiny sliver of view of the world became a whole pie. He ate. He drank. He smiled. He saw the entire street. The cars, the bus, the gardens, the small plaza were seen at earth level, not from the constricted view from his third floor window.

Those who had not seen him for a while marveled at how well he looked. He reached for my hand and held it even as I fed him.

There was a parade going back to the home. It was a celebration.

His place at the table was crowded with his birthday gifts so some had to go into his room. The noisiest, brightest, most comical pop-up cards were shown around to his companions in the room. Flowers were on the window sill. There was no guessing who the birthday guy was as his chair was festooned with the bright helium balloons. Many came by to look and those who could, chatted, touched, stroked and wished him a Happy Birthday. Then everyone had cake with tea.

“Okay sweetheart. See you soon”.

“Bye, my Paula, soon.” It was the clearest he had spoken all day. He was my Bert.

August 17, 2023

It could have been bleak. It was not. It was filled with happy memories and I was happy to recall the last birthday party. We had no idea then that in 39 days that world view would expand to encompass the entire universe. None of his guests knew then that the next time they saw him would be for another celebration, of a life well spent.

This year his birthday party is with the stars while I was treated with lunch at a friend’s home. There was love, and I marveled at how much the world, life, business, pleasure, sadness and joy, like glass in a kaleidoscope, shifts and reassembles as you adapt to a new reality.

We walked down to the lovely creek that meanders through the property. There has been so much rain it is the fullest I have seen the water. It had risen to be lapping at the footbridge and as it rushed with musical notes to the lake it seemed to say: “You done good, girl”.

The Meander: Yes, I have.

Guest Post

Thanks to wellnessvoyager.com for this article.

Tips to Stress-Free and Budget-Friendly Travel with Young Children

Traveling with young children can be a daunting task, especially when you’re on a budget and trying to keep stress levels low. However, with a little planning and some smart strategies, you can create a memorable and enjoyable trip for the whole family. Meanderings shares seven budget-friendly and stress-reducing travel tips for parents with young children.

Avoid Travel During Peak Seasons

One of the easiest ways to save money and avoid crowds is to travel during off-peak times. This means avoiding popular vacation periods like school holidays and major public holidays. Not only will you find better deals on flights and accommodations, but you’ll also encounter fewer crowds and shorter lines at attractions, making it easier to manage your young children.

Rent a Vacation Home Instead of Staying at a Hotel

Instead of booking expensive hotel rooms, consider renting a vacation home for your family. Vacation rentals often offer more space, privacy, and amenities than hotels, while also providing a more comfortable and home-like environment for your children. To ensure that your rental is in a walkable area with easy access to amenities and attractions, check its Walk Score before booking. A higher Walk Score indicates a more pedestrian-friendly neighborhood, which can make your stay more convenient and enjoyable.

Bring Healthy, Budget-Friendly Food Options

Eating out can quickly add up, especially when you’re feeding a family. To save money and ensure your children have access to healthy food options, bring along budget-friendly snacks like fresh fruit, granola bars, and string cheese. Not only will this help keep your kids satisfied between meals, but it can also prevent meltdowns due to hunger. Plus, having snacks on hand can save you time and money by not having to search for and purchase overpriced snacks at tourist attractions.

Find Free Activities and Attractions

There are plenty of free activities and attractions available for families, no matter where you’re traveling. Do some research before your trip to find parks, playgrounds, and other kid-friendly attractions that won’t cost a dime. Many cities also offer free events like concerts, outdoor movie screenings, and festivals, which can be a fun way to spend time together as a family without breaking the bank.

Be Willing to Adapt

When traveling with young children, it’s important to be flexible and willing to adapt your plans as needed. Kids can be unpredictable, and unexpected events like tantrums, illness, or bad weather can easily throw your itinerary off course. By keeping your schedule loose and having backup plans in place, you’ll be better prepared to handle any surprises that come your way, reducing stress for both you and your children.

Keep Your Kids Occupied During Downtime

To keep your kids occupied during downtime and transit, pack a variety of entertainment options like books, coloring supplies, and small toys. You can also download movies, TV shows, and games onto a tablet or smartphone to keep your children entertained during long flights or car rides. Having a range of activities on hand can help prevent boredom and make the journey more enjoyable for everyone.

Invest In a Baby Carrier

Navigating crowded airports, train stations, and tourist attractions can be challenging with a stroller, especially when you’re trying to keep an eye on multiple children. A baby carrier can be a lifesaver in these situations, allowing you to keep your youngest child close while freeing up your hands to wrangle older siblings. Plus, baby carriers can be more comfortable and convenient than strollers when exploring uneven terrain or navigating narrow streets.

Traveling with young children doesn’t have to be a stressful and expensive experience. By implementing these budget-friendly and stress-reducing travel tips, you can create a memorable and enjoyable trip for the whole family. Remember to travel during off-peak times, save on accommodations by renting a vacation home, bring healthy snacks, take advantage of free activities, be flexible with your plans, pack entertainment options, and use a baby carrier to make navigating your destination easier. Happy travels!

Worth Repeating

Almost every day there is news of more book bans, challenged books and a host of new education guidelines for books to be used in schools.

Books have been challenged for as long as there are books. The recent spate is so filled with vitriol it boggles the mind.

Also, this weekend I am mourning the loss of two pro-book voices. I do not use the word icon too often given its definition but the retirement of two CBC Radio hosts brought that word to mind. I will sorely miss Eleanor Wachtel host of Writers & Company and Shelagh Rogers host of The Next Chapter. Those two programs are staples in my radio listening. They introduced me to Canadian writers of all genres and to many authors I am sure I would not have met but for their programs and their commitment to showcasing the best literature.

A prized possession is the recording of an interview I arranged with Malcolm Gladwell and Eleanor Wachtel. That recording is now even more precious.

So what’s worth repeating? It is Alone but not Lonely a post I wrote some years ago under the Travel banner extolling the virtues of books as friends. You may read it here: https://paulasmeanderings.com/alone-but-not-lonely/ Or URL https://wp.me/p9c4ml-cY

The Meander: You cannot ever be lonely if you have a book. Keep on reading.